Self-esteem therapy for adults in California
The day went fine. You still have a private verdict attached to it: not enough, too much, or only acceptable because you were useful.
Self-worth is the question underneath: do I matter when I am not being useful?
What this may look like
- Harsh self-criticism that keeps going after the day went fine
- Feeling not good enough, or like you are too much
- People-pleasing, then resentment
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Needing approval or reassurance, then shame for needing it
- Imposter feelings after something actually went well
- Difficulty receiving praise
- Comparing yourself to others
- Shrinking yourself in relationships
- Tying worth to productivity, usefulness, or achievement
Who this is for
You don't need a diagnosis or to choose between the words self-esteem and self-worth.
It may fit if approval or comparison is costing you clarity about what you want. Anxiety can be part of that work.
How therapy may help
We look at the standards you live by, where they came from, and what happens when you fall short of them.
The aim is to make room for a different response to the critic, including keeping a limit without having to earn it first. For session style, see how I work.
What sessions may include
- A recent moment when the critic took over: a meeting, a text, a compliment
- What you needed versus what you did to stay easy, useful, or impressive
- Language for a boundary that sounds like you
- The cost of people-pleasing without turning that into another attack
- What is preference, and what is fear of disappointing someone
Scope of this work
Online sessions require you to be in California. This outpatient telehealth practice does not provide crisis or emergency care, medication management, court-ordered evaluations, intensive outpatient treatment, or therapy for young children.
Frequently asked questions
Is low self-esteem always caused by trauma?
No. A harsh critic, people-pleasing, or worth that depends on output can come from family roles, school, culture, or years of measuring yourself by achievement. You do not need a trauma history to start. This is not specialized trauma treatment.
You can begin with one question.
A free 15-minute phone call to ask questions and check fit.
Online therapy for California adults 18+. Morning and afternoon appointments.